Authentically YOU

Authentically YOU
FAWN (2): [00:00:00] Good morning everybody. No, 
MATT: try that one again. Hello everyone. 
FAWN (2): Hi everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. Matt, what were you saying this morning? 
MATT: I was rambling like I always do in the mornings. I suppose. 
FAWN (2): No, I love it. Tell, tell, tell everybody what you were talking about. 
MATT: Mm. So I was Googling, or in my case, DuckDuckGo, around the interwebs and whoa, that almost got knocked over anyways.
Um, and it's. For us, it's Sunday. I'm not sure when it is for you, but for us right now, it's Sunday and Sunday mornings. I always look at post secret, yada, yada, yada. And every once in a while I go someplace new or someplace I haven't been in a while, but I'm not a real big shockingly internet guy. So I went to Cameo, which is this site that allows celebrities to record stuff for quote unquote normal people, if you will, and charge us money for it.
And I like going through the musicians because I'm constantly surprised [00:01:00] by who is actually on there. And so I found an artist I'm fond of, and I, I clicked into her, cameo and it, you can see little samples and there was a sample that was like a pick me up, which I thought was interesting. What's a pick me up?
Well. I'm sorry. Uh, it is just a little message and this, in this case, it happened to be for this little 10-year-old girl. Oh. Like 
FAWN (2): to cheer somebody up? Yeah. 
MATT: Like cheer you up. Okay. But it was for this like 10-year-old girl who wanted to go to Vakin, which is a whole other thing with her parents, yada, yada, yada.
But it was, it was very nice. And, and she was very nice. And, but it was like, it's almost like it was too long. If, if that's a thing. Then I watched another one. It was terrible. And then I watched another one. It was really terrible. And then I watched a 15 second one and he just like struck right in the middle and it was really good advice.
But I was noticing everybody's offering. People are going on cameo looking for either birthday messages or a pick me up, which I thought was interesting. [00:02:00] 
FAWN (2): Let me know when you're done with your theory. 'cause I wanna tell you my theory. 
MATT: Well, there's no theory involved. Do people have a desire for this? 
FAWN (2): Well, what struck me was what you said about some of them didn't feel genuine.
Genuine, since I was gonna say sincere. I don't know if you used that word, but, can I tell you, 
MATT: you can. 
FAWN (2): First of all, I love it and I hate it at the same time, what I'm about to say. I love how connected and psychic everybody is. And I dislike using the word psychic now, but it's true.
Everybody is super sensitive. Even the ones who don't even believe in anything that they can't prove physically, right? 
MATT: Mm-hmm. 
FAWN (2): Everybody is in tune to it. I hate it because. They're, uh, they're tuned into what I'm thinking. You know, like, I have no private thoughts and I feel like I have to really work hard and be very [00:03:00] mindful about the thoughts that I do have.
MATT: Mm-hmm. 
FAWN (2): They're not negative thoughts, but for example, there's a friend who politically, like she even senses that you're talking about politics? Oh, 
MATT: dear. 
FAWN (2): She just, just jumps down my throat and I haven't even said anything yet. Maybe I said, oh, you know, she's like, how are you?
How, how, how are the kids? I'm like, you know, we're, they're dealing with the stresses of the world. 
MATT: What do you mean? 
FAWN (2): The way she like jumps on me. Right. And um, and I know it's political 'cause she thinks I'm talking political and I'm, but I don't wanna talk about it because when I bring it up with her, it is, she wants to end the friendship immediately.
So, and I don't want to, you know, I don't wanna end the friendship. Mm-hmm. But she's just so hotheaded about everything that I can't, I don't wanna talk to her [00:04:00] about a lot these days. Okay. So I have pulled back, but I did call her and I got, I, I'm sorry if you're listening to this and it's you, but. But she, she said, I haven't heard from you, but the way she was talking to me, it was like kind of ice cold.
I haven't heard from you. And it, granted it was, it was like three weeks at at least, and that's not normal for us. Mm-hmm. And also. I have genuinely been booked every hour for auditions, for taking care of the kids, for appointments, you know, taking care of 
MATT: husbands, 
FAWN (2): you know, it's genuinely mm-hmm. I have had, usually I don't have enough to totally lounge around and speak on the phone, you know what I'm saying?
I, I use every bit of, I invest every bit of my time very. Very thoughtfully. 
MATT: Mm-hmm. 
FAWN (2): Um, but [00:05:00] she was correct because I didn't have it in me. To, to participate in conversations because I really did need to retreat. I really did need to have time to myself. But anyway, so, but the way she said it though, I didn't want her to be right.
So I'm like, no, 
MATT: wait, hold on. On you did not want her to be right. Go ahead 
FAWN (2): because she rammed down my throat. She didn't, you know, it felt so rigid and it was all from her perspective. Right. And that's hard. And it's always, her perspective is very fierce all the time. Right. And I wasn't ready to say Yeah, you're right.
Because it would've been hurtful to her. And it wasn't quite true either. I did want to talk to her, um, and I did call her back every time, and I did text her back every time. Mm-hmm. But I never reached her. You know, but I was also thankful, like, whew, I need this time to do this other thing right now.
Right. Do you know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. And I'm also not in the head space to carefully [00:06:00] maneuver my speech so I don't offend her. Right. Or that it, I don't even. It doesn't seem like I'm broaching the topic of politics or whatever it is. Mm-hmm. That will piss her off, so, right. Why am I, I get it. Why am I telling you this?
Oh, I hate how psychic people are because Yeah. She read me, you know what I'm saying? Right. She sensed me. Mm-hmm. From far away she sensed what was going on. Right. And I hate that, but I also love it because it means that everybody's becoming very sensitive and realizing that, when you feel pain over here, this other person is feeling it too,
feeling it also, you know what I'm saying?
MATT: I do. 
FAWN (2): So I love it and I am pissed off about it at the same time, not pissed off in English terms. Um, you know, I'm not drinking. Anyway. You know what I'm saying? Yes. But what I was going to say is how I'm relating it to what you saw on Cameo mm-hmm. Is that
there are so many people now on everything. Yes. Like how [00:07:00] do I even describe it? I don't wanna just say blanketly like social media, but we're all able to connect with one another, either Telepathically or Zoom or YouTube or whatever it is, Instagram, whatever it is. Mm-hmm. Um, so everyone is speaking.
We're, I think we're going through that phase in the world where, wow, there's so much choice out there, but also there's so much garbage out there. There's so much that is not good for you out there. There are so many voices, but at the same time, I think what, what is happening is we're starting to, because we are so sensitive, and dare I use the word psychic again, but we can feel when someone is completely insincere.
Not genuine, doesn't really care. 
Right. 
And I come to this via the voice acting world that I'm in now. And yeah, all the casting agents and [00:08:00] agents and everyone will tell you, you have to be genuine and all the clients, you know, all the commercial people that you're auditioning for. The need is someone genuine, someone trustworthy, and you can't fake that.
You have to absolutely feel it, 
MATT: even if it's just for 15 seconds. 
FAWN (2): Well, that's why it's so good. Remember it wasn't Emerson who said, I didn't have time to write you a short letter, so here's a long ass letter. Right, right, right. Was it Emerson or was it Thoreau? One of those buddies, I don't know, but you know what I'm saying.
So yeah, in 15 seconds . They always say it's the first word that they know if it's you or not, because there's so much that comes through. One word. So much emotion, so much, authenticity or inauthenticity. Mm-hmm. All of it. They can even tell if you've had a bad day from just the tone of one word, they can read you.
And these are business people. [00:09:00] Yes. They're in the voice acting world, so maybe more creative, but these are hardcore business people. Usually, like when we were growing up, business people, the suits were so out of touch with emotions and the sensitivities of everything, 
mm-hmm. So it's not that way anymore. What's gonna happen is more people wake up to, wait a minute, what is it that I'm hearing? What is it? It, it's so disingenuine. Wait, is that a word? 
MATT: Disingenuous, perhaps? Disingenuous, 
FAWN (2): yeah. Like our oldest and I were watching, a travel show and I haven't had, oh dear.
I haven't been traveling since the kids were born. Mm-hmm. And I used to travel all the time and I was sitting there hating this show. Then our daughter was like, why are we watching this? I'm like, I don't know. So we started talking terrible things about the host of the show. Mm-hmm. I'm like, I really hate to speak badly about someone, but oh God, it's totally cringy.
[00:10:00] She's cringe. It was awful, but I wanted to see where she was. But all we could focus on was her more like we were trying to break it down. What is it about her that so turns us off to the point of we feel disgusted. I finally realized if she was, I think she was from la.
If she was in la, there is no way she would hang out with anyone who does not look like her, who doesn't come from her socioeconomic background, who is, she would never, never be interested in anyone who's not like her, but he or she is traveling. And like definitely in areas where nobody looks or behaves like her.
And I was like, you know what it is? She's not letting the people speak and they're all serving her. She's being like, what was it back in the day when people would like travel with their steam [00:11:00] trunks and, you know, clamping, 
MATT: what, where are you? Where are you going?
FAWN (2): You know, people who went to quote unquote the uncivilized world. 
MATT: You mean like when they went on safari or, yeah, 
FAWN (2): yeah. You know how they treated people? Yes. As servants? Yes. Take my bags. All the rest. It was very like that. Now, it wasn't that apparent, but it was apparent to us first subliminally. Or subconsciously.
Mm-hmm. And then once we realized, they were like, oh no. And then we started noticing the looks on people's faces that she would talk to. I'm like, wow, I can't watch this anymore. Dis disingenuous, not genuine. Right? Not, not authentically loving. There was no love in it. It was pure selfishness.
Mm-hmm. And so, anyway, it took us a while. First we were just shocked, right? Why, why is this so bad? And to bring it around to relationships, human friendships, that's what it is. If you are having a bad day, be honest about it. Be honest about [00:12:00] it with yourself. You don't have to, vomit on anything or anyone, but be honest.
Hey, I'm, I'm. I'm not quite wanting to hang out with this person or be in this particular venue or whatever it is. Being honest right there with yourself will actually, from my personal experience, attract people, even if you're in a bad mood, that you still get attracted to you because you are authentically realizing what it is.
 You're able to, without even doing it on purpose, you're able to collect yourself to get a hold of yourself. So that way, even if it's something that is negative that you're going through, it doesn't just spill over on someone else. And that's what makes people go away, there's, or they get scared or whatever it is, you know,
 Does that make sense what I'm saying? It does. So a 15 second message. Mm-hmm. I'm sure , it got to, you said it was great. 
MATT: It struck right to the [00:13:00] heart of the matter. Right? People were asking this guy, 'cause this guy's a crazy guitarist and by crazy I mean like awesome. And he got a really bad rap once upon a time for having a bad moment.
And I'm not sure accurate or not accurate, but my opinion of him completely shifted after watching one or two of these silly little 15 second videos where he's offering advice and or somebody asks him a music question, he answers it. 'cause he's obs, he's absurdly good and there he is. But, and even the, it went too long.
It was so cute and honest at the same time that it was nice. As soon as I realized it was for a 10-year-old girl. 'cause I didn't realize that until halfway through and I was like, this is some really interesting advice being repeated over and over. 
FAWN (2): And there's an art to it. The art of honesty.
MATT: And as long as you're genuine. Oh my goodness. Awesome. 
FAWN (2): So what do you think it takes to be genuine? 
MATT: You have to. You have to let go of fear, I [00:14:00] think is a big part of it. You don't have to reveal all of who you are to quote, almost to quote hitch. You don't have to reveal all that you are, but people wanna know you.
People want to connect with you. They don't wanna connect to a caricature of you. They don't wanna connect to, you know, like they can see parts of you always. They can connect with those parts. People want to connect with the parts that they see. And so if you're showing something and yet you're completely discarding it or you're not talking about it, people immediately feel like you're not being genuine.
FAWN (2): You know what I think is another reason for not being genuine is not that you don't want to, it's a little bit, of, of a mixture of, wanting to control how you come across what, because, sorry, I just, because I'm, I'm gonna lose this thought if I don't say it. 
MATT: Yes. 
FAWN (2): And I've experienced this with myself and I'm gonna use it on my auditions.
You don't feel good enough. You don't feel like [00:15:00] your genuine voice would be good enough, cool enough, whatever it is that is, the enough, so you, you edit it and I think. You have to be unedited. You have to love exactly how you sound and how you sound is not just what comes out from the vibration of what's going on in your throat.
 It's really at the core who you really are.
MATT: Yes. For me. Okay. Totally get it. For me, that's always centered around fear. Being afraid of showing people that whatever that thing is, 
FAWN (2): fear of not belonging. Fear of being judged. 
MATT: Fear of being judged. Certainly 
FAWN (2): fear of being told.
Ugh. And 
MATT: and there you have it. 'cause when you lay it all out there, it's like, oh, it's like on those terrible reality shows like The Bachelor, where somebody lays it all out and then gets rejected. Oh, well, God, that sucks. But that's what makes it intriguing.
So, [00:16:00] yes, , laying aside the fear. And you know what? Every once in a while I will have just a random discussion with a, with a friend that makes no sense to me, but I can tell this person really needed to say whatever it is they're saying. Like, oh my God, I, I fixed this thing and I kicked so much butt.
Or, you know, I, I, I couldn't believe that, uh, this thing was on tv. Or, who knows? Who knows? And you just kind of sit there and then. After a while, you start to notice, you know what? Every once in a while I have one of those stupid conversations too, where I say something ridiculous that the other person just smiles and nods and thank God they smile and nod.
FAWN (2): And also I've heard you have conversations like with Jim. Mm-hmm. Where. The first few three minutes, I swear, is just one word, dude. DUDE... And the way you say, dude, several times in different ways. I'm like, wow. 
MATT: Well this is me reacting to what he's saying. Perhaps.
FAWN (2): No, but also because you only hear one side, but you can tell what [00:17:00] that means.
There's major meaning behind that one word in the way you say it. Yes. Is what I'm trying to say there is, 
right? For sure. 
Dude. 
MATT: Dude. Yeah. Dude, 
FAWN (2): I don't know. I don't wanna do it right now. But one, you, you, it just feels like you're speaking many sentences and you're just using that one word. Well, 
MATT: it's the same thing I think is going Uhhuh, Uhhuh.
Uhhuh. But it sounds much better to me. No, I wouldn't, to my gear. I would 
FAWN (2): not put Uhhuh into that. That's terrible. Uhhuh. No. Okay. The, the, that, that brings about the fighting. The fighting stands for me, like, well, it depends on what the other person, you're not person, person. It 
MATT: depends on what the other person is saying.
Right? No, 
FAWN (2): I don't know. I've, I've heard you say Uhhuh in the middle of people talking, like on our podcast sometimes when I'm editing and I'm like, Ooh. Like, why'd you have to say Uhhuh right there. 
MATT: I will. I will now just say, dude. 
FAWN (2): Yes, because that's more authentic. Because I don't know, when I hear the word uhhuh, it reminds me of some [00:18:00] therapist that's like, yeah, get on with it.
But like uhhuh, like when you say uhhuh, it's like whatever, Uhhuh, move it along with steamy. 
MATT: That's the vocabulary we say, dude. 
FAWN (2): I'm saying that's a good thing. But with other 
MATT: people, I don't use that vocabulary. I'm 
FAWN (2): just saying with you and Steeny, it's that word, dude. 
MATT: Yes. 
FAWN (2): And fruit. 
MATT: Right? 
FAWN (2): But I'm just saying.
What I'm trying to say is, so much is conveyed with just sound because emotion is coming out Right. It doesn't even matter what you're saying is what I was trying 
MATT: to say. Right. And there you go. Yes. 
FAWN (2): It's the vibration. Not to sound so hippie, but you know what?
That's what I am. I am whatever it is you wanna call it. So yeah, that's my theory is the fear of really at the bottom, everything that the core of it is liking yourself.
MATT: Yes. 
FAWN (2): And saying, well, this is me. And I think the more of that that you have, and again, probably thinking of my auditions too.
Mm-hmm. Instead of trying to [00:19:00] sound the way they want me, I mean, yes, of course I'm gonna sound the way they want me to sound. Yes. As far as whatever they're looking for emotion wise, I still have to do it in my own authentic self because that's what they're looking for. And yet I'm trying. Case in point, if you look at all, and I've said this for years, whenever one actress who does look different finally makes it, every other actress starts looking exactly like them.
We were walking in the mall yesterday and this is years after the Kardashians, but the models all looked like the Kardashians, like even to this day, years later. That wasn't the look. 
Yes. And now, now you're, you have to take a good look for me, a few long, 10, 20 seconds to go. Is that Kim? No, no, that's somebody else. Because they all look the same. Is that Jennifer Lopez? Hold on a second. No, that's actually someone else. They're [00:20:00] made to look like that and I think to truly have a genuine anything happening,
 be bold and be completely yourself, because they'll find you faster. 
MATT: Because they will find you good, good advice. Yeah. I would say if you wanted to take a step back from yourself and really consider how you're presenting yourself and thinking about your. Brand. Just make sure that your a, your brand's on point
-it represents perfectly who you are, as well as make sure that whatever you put out there is what you want to put out there. And I put out a lot of really silly stuff and I got, I got a little bit nailed for one thing that I, I, I have a nasty habit of doing. I have a new boss 'cause my old boss is gone.
And so I put, as my background, I've got 70,000 backgrounds I chose as my background, just a coffee shop. My new boss assumed that meant that I'm a coffee aficionado. Oops. So be careful when you put [00:21:00] stuff out too. Make sure that you know, you're, the, the words to say, to defend it is a bit much. But in a work environment that is absolutely true.
But in a personal environment, just be aware of what it is you're putting out. 
FAWN (2): Yeah, I mean everything 
MATT: because I done blew it. And as 
FAWN (2): long as we do it with a sense of joy and love, I think it will completely come across. 
MATT: And you're right, 
FAWN (2): instead of, blindly just putting something on,
and that's kind of what I 
MATT: did. Just 'cause it's kind of cute. It's kind of this, it's kind of, I should have put up God creating a touring machine. I have, I have an esoteric, really bizarre picture of that. That's beautiful, that I like, but I was afraid maybe it was too far out there and it, I should have gone there 
FAWN (2): Here's another life lesson from the mall yesterday.
We rarely go to the mall, but, you know, um, another lesson was, wow. Things have rapidly progressed to some other thing. I don't even wanna say level, [00:22:00] but there is so much garbage out there. Garbage and time is moving so fast that it feels like we don't have the proper amount of space or time to think, what should I
put on my background for the zoom meeting. Yes. Because we, we just were, were like, whatever any old thing will do. No. We need to slow down and be methodical because everything is important. Everything should be deliberate. 
MATT: And, and the fact that he paid attention to that.
FAWN (2): Of course. Yeah. Most 
MATT: people don't. Frankly 
FAWN (2): they do, but they don't tell you. 
MATT: And there you go. Maybe that's it. 
FAWN (2): Anyway, that's it for me. 
MATT: Okay. Sounds good to me. Protect your brand. 
FAWN (2): Love you guys. If you need us, please reach out. Have a beautiful every day, 
MATT: be well.